In this voice message, I share the concept of “bids for attention,” which is an idea developed by the Gottmans to describe the ways that we reach out to each other for emotional connection.
I give an overview of the concept and then expand on it past the scope of marital relationships—which are the focus of their research—and discuss its relevance in the difficult pursuit of maintaining relationships that involve any amount of distance. If you’ve ever consistently ignored someone’s messages or had someone consistently ignore yours, this episode is for you. This is my longest voice message so far because I had a lot to say. But there’s still so much more to this concept—I’ve included resources below if you’re curious!
If you missed the first one and want a full explanation, have a listen. The tl;dr is that this is a more polished and prepared version of the voice messages I send my friends. I have no fixed length in mind—each one will be the minimum length necessary for me to make my point (without my signature babbling).
I’d love to know your thoughts on this audio transmission! Feel free to leave a comment, or email me at elusivekrystyna@gmail.com.
Resources:
Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids
Turn Toward Your Child to Nurture Intimacy
A Deeper Look Into Turning Towards Your Partner
Bid Busters: Ways You Unintentionally Turn Away from Connection
Turning Against Bids: A Relationship Killer
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