I enjoyed this thoroughly, even at x1 speed lol. The intro explanation about reading vs. speaking vs. listening was interesting and showed the work you've done in the awareness around that aspect of yourself. I also liked the perspective of voice messages having their own form of intimacy (even above live audio calls) which is somewhat counterintuitive when face to face/presence is commonly placed as the top rung of intimacy and healthy communication.
Instead of framing it as a 'when to ask this question' problem, I find it easier to just reframe the question itself, either changing the definition of 'the point' or using different words. If I reframe 'the point' as to include all those positives (connection, expression, joy in process, etc.) then it's a valid question to ask always.
Some other ways to say this might be: What is my intention and what is actually happening/happened? Is 'x' serving me presently? What am I getting and/or want (even need) to get out of this activity/relationship/'x' for the ROI to be worth it and healthy for me? The point about letting go or taking a break from habits, activities, relationships is also super relevant to many I think. It's so easy to ingrain any of those into identity without then questioning what season I'm in currently. My super high energy habit that might have been perfect in spring, might not be serving me (or at least need to be adjusted) in my metaphorical winter.
I've communicated with so many different people with different communication styles/preferences, so it was kind of necessary to think a *lot* about the different mediums, challenges, etc. I think for me personally, voice messages let me drop the masks I normally wear. I think a lot of people find it challenging to monologue though. They need very specific prompts. Or they hesitate because they don't think they have anything interesting to say.
Btw I think Felicity (the TV show) might be the originator of sending voice messages, especially somewhat confessional ones. Of course, she was mailing cassette tapes back and forth, but I think that's the only time I've seen that in TV/movies.
I think I used "what's the point" specifically because it's what certain parts of my psyche usually ask, and I think a lot of other people find themselves using that language specifically. And I think it's sometimes helpful to be a little more blunt with yourself than "what is my intention" conveys. But reframing the question can be helpful, certainly. I think if you take time to periodically reflect on your values and boundaries and really internalize them, then you don't even have to ask yourself the question really, you'll just see that certain people and situations don't fit what you've outlined for yourself. Then maybe the question becomes, "How much deviation from my stated values and boundaries am I willing to tolerate? For what reason?
There's the concept in agriculture of crop rotation, letting fields lie fallow, etc., and at some point I want to write about how this concept applies to habits/activities/relationships.
I enjoy all the questions around this, such as “what are my intentions in this relationship?”, “How is this relationship serving me/them?”, “How am I experiencing love and care in this relationship?”
or less individual-centered: “What is the web of relationships that I am participating in?”, or “how am I connected to the world through this relationship?”
Thank you for listening, and I'm glad you found some food for thought :) Those are all great questions, and "intentions" is definitely a key word for me!
I enjoyed this thoroughly, even at x1 speed lol. The intro explanation about reading vs. speaking vs. listening was interesting and showed the work you've done in the awareness around that aspect of yourself. I also liked the perspective of voice messages having their own form of intimacy (even above live audio calls) which is somewhat counterintuitive when face to face/presence is commonly placed as the top rung of intimacy and healthy communication.
Instead of framing it as a 'when to ask this question' problem, I find it easier to just reframe the question itself, either changing the definition of 'the point' or using different words. If I reframe 'the point' as to include all those positives (connection, expression, joy in process, etc.) then it's a valid question to ask always.
Some other ways to say this might be: What is my intention and what is actually happening/happened? Is 'x' serving me presently? What am I getting and/or want (even need) to get out of this activity/relationship/'x' for the ROI to be worth it and healthy for me? The point about letting go or taking a break from habits, activities, relationships is also super relevant to many I think. It's so easy to ingrain any of those into identity without then questioning what season I'm in currently. My super high energy habit that might have been perfect in spring, might not be serving me (or at least need to be adjusted) in my metaphorical winter.
Thanks for keeping it real in the matrix.
Glad you didn't fall asleep, ha ha.
I've communicated with so many different people with different communication styles/preferences, so it was kind of necessary to think a *lot* about the different mediums, challenges, etc. I think for me personally, voice messages let me drop the masks I normally wear. I think a lot of people find it challenging to monologue though. They need very specific prompts. Or they hesitate because they don't think they have anything interesting to say.
Btw I think Felicity (the TV show) might be the originator of sending voice messages, especially somewhat confessional ones. Of course, she was mailing cassette tapes back and forth, but I think that's the only time I've seen that in TV/movies.
I think I used "what's the point" specifically because it's what certain parts of my psyche usually ask, and I think a lot of other people find themselves using that language specifically. And I think it's sometimes helpful to be a little more blunt with yourself than "what is my intention" conveys. But reframing the question can be helpful, certainly. I think if you take time to periodically reflect on your values and boundaries and really internalize them, then you don't even have to ask yourself the question really, you'll just see that certain people and situations don't fit what you've outlined for yourself. Then maybe the question becomes, "How much deviation from my stated values and boundaries am I willing to tolerate? For what reason?
There's the concept in agriculture of crop rotation, letting fields lie fallow, etc., and at some point I want to write about how this concept applies to habits/activities/relationships.
Felicitous happens to be one of my favorite words, though I think that is where the overlap of enjoyment ends lol.
I definitely like the 'how much deviation am I willing to tolerate' and even more important, why?
A future post about crop rotation analogies!!??! On the edge of my seat.
Yeah, I have no idea when I'll write that post with the crop rotation analogies, ha ha. Maybe it'll end up being an audio post!
Love this.
I enjoy all the questions around this, such as “what are my intentions in this relationship?”, “How is this relationship serving me/them?”, “How am I experiencing love and care in this relationship?”
or less individual-centered: “What is the web of relationships that I am participating in?”, or “how am I connected to the world through this relationship?”
Thanks for the chance to reflect. 💕
Thank you for listening, and I'm glad you found some food for thought :) Those are all great questions, and "intentions" is definitely a key word for me!